Skits and Scenes: Inuyasha Gone Horribly Wrong
by wolfygirl13
Summary: A bunch of funny madness for a laugh or two. Lots of OOC, most characters. Some short skits and stuff I thought up when I was bored. Flames welcome.
1. Flock of Seagulls, Part 1

A/N: If you read Duality while it was still in-progress, you might have already read some of this. The first few chapters are taken from my filler chapter that I had posted. If you have no clue what I'm talking about then just don't worry about it. It's not important to the storyline of Duality, has no bearing or resemblance whatsoever in fact, because Duality is mostly a serious and kind of angsty story, whereas this is just for fun. It's just that some people already read the first few chapters of this, and I'm giving fair warning.

Having said that, I warn you that OOC abounds in this, and I really don't care if it is creepy. You don't have to read it if you don't like it. Reveiws appreciated, even flames are welcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Inuyasha characters. Ideas, however, are completely my fault.

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**_Flock of Seagulls, Part 1: Sesshoumaru's sensitive side, and Rin's maturity_**

"Wait for me, Lord Sesshoumaru!" Jaken cried frantically, latching onto the fur that hung from Sesshoumaru's shoulder. Sesshoumaru took a mighty leap, and a cloud formed underneath him. He was going to find Naraku.  
"Come on, Al-Un, let's follow them!" Rin said, jumping onto the dragon's back. Al-Un took off as well, shooting forward to catch up. Rin held on tight to the furry mane of the dragon.  
The four of them flew for about five minutes, then suddenly...  
"Crrraaaaaawwwww!"  
A huge flock of seagulls appeared out of nowhere, flying headlong into the demons. Sesshoumaru looked over in surprise, blocking his face with his arm and trying to stave off the birds that slammed into him.  
"AAAHHHH!" Jaken screamed as a few birds knocked him off the fur, carrying him away.  
"HEEEELLLLLPPPP MEEEEEE!" the imp screamed, terrified.  
Sesshoumaru blinked as he watched the imp get carried off.  
"What was that all about?" Rin asked, looking at the birds in surprise. "They just came out of nowhere!"  
"I don't have any idea," Sesshoumaru shook his head.  
"Aren't you gonna go after him?" Rin asked after a minute.  
"...Nah," Sesshoumaru shrugged. "He'll find us eventually. He always does."  
"You're mean, Lord Sesshoumaru," Rin said with a giggle.  
"...oh well..."  
"Come on, Al-Un," Rin sighed heavily. "Lord Sesshoumaru will never go after Master Jaken on his own, so it's up to us to find him."  
"Do we really have to keep him around?" Sesshoumaru asked.  
"Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru, we have to keep him around," Rin sighed.  
"But wwwhhhhyyyyy?" Sesshoumaru complained.  
"Because the director says we have to," Rin pointed out.  
"Fine, alright, we'll go get the stupid toad-"  
"Imp," Rin corrected.  
"Frog," Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "Whatever."  
"You're hopeless."  
"Hey! Don't say that!" Sesshoumaru sniffed.  
"Oh, stop being so sensitive! I was only teasing!" Rin shook her head.  
"I knew that," Sesshoumaru lied.  
"Whatever," Rin sighed. "Let's just go find him."  
"But wwwhhhhyyyyy?" Sesshoumaru whined again.  
"I already told you why! Quit acting like a little kid!" Rin snapped.  
Sesshoumaru sniffed and turned away.  
"Oh, you're such a big baby sometimes," Rin chided. "I'm sorry, okay?"  
"Suuuure you are," Sesshoumaru scoffed. "That stupid little toad-"  
"Imp."  
"Frog. Whatever. That stupid green thing means more to you than I do!"  
"No he doesn't," Rin disagreed.  
"Then why do you always go after him and never come after me?" Sesshoumaru pouted.  
"Because you tell me not to!" Rin said.  
"That doesn't mean I don't want you to," Sesshoumaru said.  
"Well make up your mind then!" Rin shouted.  
"Hey, that's not nice," Sesshoumaru frowned sadly.  
"Whatever," Rin rubbed her temples, agitated.

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Er, um...well then...

I don't even know how to justify any of that...

Please review, flames welcome!


	2. Flock of Seagulls, Part 2

A/N: Continuation (sort of) from previous chapter, except it goes to Inuyasha's group now.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

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**_Flock of Seagulls, Part 2: Wherein Shippou is responsible, and Kagome is childish_**

"Shippou, you can take Kagome somewhere safe. Sango, Miroku, stay here! I'm gonna go find Naraku!" Inuyasha called. "Let's go, Kirara!"  
Kirara nodded and leaped forward, transforming as she ran next to Inuyasha. He leaped onto her back easily, and they were off.  
After about ten minutes, though...  
"Crrrrraaaaawwwww!"  
"AAAHHHH!" Inuyasha screamed as a flock of seagulls rammed into him forcefully. "Get these things off me! HEEELLLLPPPP!" he shouted as he was carried off by dozens of gulls.  
Kirara blinked and tilted her head to the side as Shippou floated up next to her.  
"What just happened?" Shippou asked, confused.  
Kirara shook her head.  
"Hey, Shippou, shouldn't we go after him?" Kagome asked worriedly.  
"...No..."  
"But why not?" Kagome asked whinily.  
"...cause he's a big meanie," Shippou replied.  
"But Shippppooooouuuuu..."  
"I SAID NO!" Shippou yelled.  
"But Shhhiiiiiipppppppoooooouuuuuu-"  
"Alright already, we'll go find him! Sheesh, you act like he's important or something!"  
"But he is," Kagome pouted.  
"Why do you like that jerk anyways? He's always cheating on you-running off to find Kikyou, never once thinking about how it affects you. Kikyou this, Kikyou that, oh no Kikyou is in danger, Kikyou Kikyou Kikyou! Everyone is sick of Kikyou! And you still love him? How dense can you be!" Shippou screamed angrily.  
"Beccaaauuuuusssse," Kagome complained. "He's handsome, and he can even be sweet sometimes, and besides..."  
"Besides what? You're getting yourself into a serious relationship problem, Kagome. I think you should just stick with Kouga. At least he's loyal to you, and he treats you like a lady."  
"Well, so what?" Kagome sniffed.  
"Inuyasha just treats you like any plain girl. Kagome, you deserve better! Look at you; you're a beautiful girl and you deserve a man who treats you like one! Inuyasha is just a big stupid jerk for choosing Kikyou over you! He's always going off after her, you know that he likes her better! Admit it!" Shippou said.  
"But Shippou, Inuyasha has those cute pointy ears!" Kagome whined.  
"Kouga has plenty of wolves with cute pointy ears."  
"But Shippou, I like Inuyasha's doggie ears," Kagome pouted.  
"So? Get over it!" Shippou said firmly. "He's not worth your effort!"  
Kirara stared at the two, then nodded her agreement.  
"See, even Kirara agrees with me," Shippou said as he noticed the fire-cat. "You need to get your act straight, girl, or you'll wind up heartbroken."  
"But-"  
"But nothing, Kagome," Shippou said sternly. "I'm taking you to Kouga right now."  
"Oh, fine, but what about Inuyasha?" Kagome asked.  
"Kirara, go get Inuyasha away from those birds," Shippou sighed. "I guess we can't let him stay away; after all, this show is supposed to be about him. The director would have a field day if we let the seagulls take him off. He'd read us the riot act for sure."  
Kirara sighed and flew off to find Inuyasha.  
"Shippou..." Kagome said.  
"What now, Kagome?" Shippou sighed.  
"We have to go down," Kagome said. "My tummy hurts. I need to eat," she said.  
"Well, we're almost to Kouga's den. You can eat there."  
"But Shippou!" Kagome protested.  
"But nothing," Shippou said. "Young lady, if I hear another complaint out of you, I'll give you a ten minute time-out!" he snapped.  
"But-"  
"Ten minutes," Shippou growled.  
"But-"  
"Fifteen," he said. "Don't push me."  
"BUT!"  
"Twenty!" he finally shouted. "Now stay put!"  
"BUT SHIPPOU!" Kagome pouted. "I'm hhhuuuuunnnnnggggrrrrryyyyy!"  
"Well, it can wait for another five minutes," Shippou said.  
"BUT-"  
"NO MORE BUTS, I MEAN IT!" Shippou shouted.  
"You're mean and stupid! I hate you!" Kagome shrieked angrily.  
"I know. I'm so evil. Now stay quiet," SHippou said.  
"Meanie!" Kagome cried.  
"I know."  
Kagome sniffed back a few sobs.  
"I hate you," she whispered quietly.  
"I heard that."  
"Stupid!" Kagome retorted.  
"We're almost there," Shippou said, ignoring her insults.  
"Oh, okay," Kagome smiled happily. She began to hum a cheerful little tune.  
Shippou sighed heavily.

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Ehehehe...well, that was...interesting.

Please review, flames welcome anytime.


	3. Munchkin Mayhem

A/N: Um, helium is fun?

--Note: To anyone who has never inhaled helium, or enough helium, I must inform you that it makes a person act like a happy whimsical drunkard. Which is where I got the inspriation for this bit of insanity that would probably get me killed on the spot if Sesshoumaru or Inuyasha were to ever hear of this. (shhh! don't tell them...)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any other characters. Don't sue me.

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_** Munchkin Mayhem: Helium Voices**_

"Hey, Kagome, how do you get these balloon things to stay up in the air?" Inuyasha asked.  
"I fill them up with helium," Kagome said. "Can I see?" Inuyasha asked eagerly.  
"Sure," Kagome shrugged and pulled out her minature helium tank from her yellow backpack.  
"Cool!" Inuyasha grinned. "Hey, this stuff smells kinda funny!" he said. "Is it like scented air or something? I like it," he added.  
"Not really..."  
"Okay!" Inuyasha ignored her completely and looked at the nozzle of the can, then picked up the end of it and examined it carefully. He sniffed it closely, then flicked out his tongue to taste the air. He grinned even wider and opened his mouth, sucking in a deep draught of helium.  
"Wow, this stuff is-HEY!" he shrieked in a high-pitched voice. "What the hell!"  
"That's what helium does, Inuyasha," Kagome informed him. "If you inhale it, it makes your voice really high-pitched."  
"Aw, cool! It's funny!" Inuyasha laughed.  
"Hey, let me try!" Miroku shoved Inuyasha aside and took a deep breath.  
"Wow, this stuff is cool!" he said in his own high pitch.  
"Oh no, guys, watch out!" Shippou called. "I can smell Sesshoumaru!"  
"Where?" Inuyasha asked, his voice still high-pitched. He sniffed the air. "All I can smell is helium. Man, this stuff tastes really good when you inhale it!" he giggled and took another deep breath.  
"So, I've found you, little brother," Sesshoumaru said, coming into view.  
"Hey, Sesshoumaru, what's happenin'?" Inuyasha giggled. He was high from the helium.  
Sesshoumaru blinked and lowered his sword to his side, staring uncertainly.  
"Inu...yasha...that IS you, right?" he frowned.  
"Yeah, Sesshoumaru, it's me," Inuyasha chuckled. "This stuff is great!" he sighed happily and took yet another deep breath. "You should try it."  
"Uh...no thanks, I'll pass," Sesshoumaru said, taking an instinctive step backwards.  
"Aw, come on, you can't be scared of it! I promise you'll like it!" he hiccuped.  
"Scared? I'm not afraid of anyone or anything," Sesshoumaru growled, stalking over. "Give me that," he said, snatching the nozzle. He sniffed and found that it really did smell good, then took a deep breath himself. He instantly felt a bit dizzy, but not in a bad way...he actually kind of liked it.  
"Hey, you're right, this stuff is-WHAT THE HELL!" he shrieked, hearing his own voice.  
"Tee hee," Inuyasha covered his mouth and giggled. "Helium makes your voice sound all funny!"  
"Yeah, well change it back!" Sesshoumaru demanded.  
"Okay," Inuyasha grinned. "Just take another whiff!"  
Sesshoumaru grumbled and took another breath.  
"Did it work? Oh, you stupid little son of a-"  
"Don't listen to Inuyasha. He's just trying to trick you," Shippou said.  
"Stupid brother," Sesshoumaru grumbled, his voice high-pitched and strangely girlish.  
"I think it's funny," Miroku chuckled. "You're so funny, Sesshoumaru. Fffffuuuuunnnnnyyyy!"  
"I'm not funny!" Sesshoumaru snapped in that same high-pitched voice.  
"Ffffffuuuuuunnnnnyyyyyy Fllluuuuffffyyyy ppppuuuuuppppppyyyy," Miroku drawled out happily.  
"I'm not fluffy, and I'm not a puppy!" Sesshoumaru tried to growl, but it came out like a squeak.  
"Flllluuuuuuufffffffyyyyyyy, don't be mmmeeeeeeeeeaaaaannnn!" Inuyasha laughed.  
"I'm not mean! Uh, wait, nevermind," Sesshoumaru frowned.  
"Fluffy puppy! You're so fluffy, fluffy puppy, silly willy billy nilly...puppy funny, funny puppy, fluffy puppy funny fluffy funny puppy FFFLLLLUUUUFFFFFFYYYYY!" Inuyasha chanted.  
"STOP IT!" Sesshoumaru shrieked.  
"Awwww, do I haaaavvvveee to, Fluffy?" Inuyasha pouted.  
"SHUT UP! DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Sesshoumaru screamed.  
"Be quiet and inhale some more helium," Miroku said, sticking the nozzle right near Sesshoumaru's face. Sesshoumaru involuntarily took a breath, and he felt that strange dizzying feeling again.  
"Funny Fluffy," Inuyasha giggled. "Such a fluffy funny puppy! Fluffy fluffy fluffy fluffy, little funny fluffy puppy, such a funny-wunny-bunny puppy, bunny bunny bunny bunny, fluffy puppy chases bunnies! Tee hee hee!"  
"Hey, stop doing that," Sesshoumaru protested. He felt strange-not really happy, but not really anything else, just kind of...wowed. Like everything was suddenly funny.  
"But FFLLLLUUUUFFFFFYYYYY! You're really ffffuuuuunnnnnnyyyy," Inuyasha whined.  
"I'm not ffffuuuuunnnnyyy, you are," Sesshoumaru giggled.  
"No I'm not, you are," Inuyasha laughed. "Flllluuuuufffffyyyy is ssssoooo ffffuuuunnnyyyy!"  
"You're the one with funny doggie ears, dog-boy," Sesshoumaru said.  
"But Fllllluuuuffffffyyyy, you've got a fluffy on your shoulder!" Inuyasha pointed out.  
"It's not a fluffy, it's a furry!" Sesshoumaru said.  
"But Fllllluuuuuffffffyyyyy, it's all fluffy! It's a fluffy, not a furry!" Inuyasha said.  
"My name isn't Fluffy," Sesshoumaru whined and crossed his arms.  
"But Flllluuuuuffffffyyyyy, you're all fluffy!" Inuyasha grinned and laughed.  
"Is it just me, or is this getting redundant?" Shippou asked Sango.  
"He's fluffy," Sango giggled, holding the can of helium.  
"Nevermind," Shippou sighed.  
"Mew," Kirara agreed, shaking her head.  
"Fllllluuuuufffffffyyyyy, you like chasing buuunnnnnniiiieeeessss!" Inuyasha declared.  
"Do noooottttt!" Sesshoumaru retorted.  
"Fluffy puppy chases bunnies, bunnies run from fluffy puppy, puppy Fluffy, bunnies fluffy, fluffy bunnies chase the puppy! Fluffy puppy runs from bunnies! Tee hee hee!"  
"I don't run from buunnniieeesss!" Sesshoumaru protested.  
"Boo! Lookie, I'm a fluffy bunny!" Inuyasha giggled. "C'mere, Fluffy, lemme chase you! Fluffy puppy runs from bunnies! Fluffy puppy runs from bunnies!" Inuyasha chanted.  
Sesshoumaru, already far past the stage of oblivion, was in a rather playful mood.  
"No, not the bunnies!" he cried happily, grinning as Inuyasha chased him. "Evil bunnies are chasing me!"  
"Fllllluuuuuuuffffffyyyyy! C'mmmeeeeeerrrrreeee ppppuuuuuuppppppyyyyy!" Inuyasha said.  
"Kagome, don't ever bring that stuff again," Shippou groaned.  
"But Shippou-"  
"NO BUTS!" Shippou growled.  
"But Shippou-"  
"I'm warning you," Shippou said in a dangerous tone.  
"But-"  
"Ten, nine, eight..."  
"They're not fighting, Shippou, isn't that good?" Kagome asked.  
"They're not fighting each other, yes, but if Naraku came right now, what do you suppose would happen?" Shippou raised an eyebrow expectantly.  
"Ummmm...the evil bunnies would chase him?" Kagome blinked and looked over.  
Shippou smacked his own forehead.  
"No, Kagome, the evil bunnies would NOT chase Naraku. Naraku would kill evil bunnies, or else they would be on his side. If the bunnies were evil, we would have to kill them."  
"Shipppppoooouuuuu, do I hhhaaaavvvveeee to?" Kagome complained.  
"Yes."  
"I got you! Fluffy funny puppy!" Inuyasha giggled as he jumped onto Sesshoumaru, knocking him over and grinning.  
"Evil bunnies!" Sesshoumaru shrieked in mock horror. "Eeeeeekkkk!"  
"Flllluuuuuufffffffyyyyy, it's your turn! Tag you're it!" Inuyasha grinned and hopped off.  
"I'm gonna get you, you evil bunny!" Sesshoumaru laughed and started chasing Inuyasha.  
"I don't think I want to know," Shippou sighed and went off to go to bed. "Wake me up when they're sober again."  
"Kay," Kagome nodded. Kirara mewed her agreement.  
"Fluffy's gonna win," Miroku smiled dopily.  
"Nope, I bet on the bunny," Sango said to him.  
"Well I think they're gonna tie," Kagome nodded firmly.  
Shippou sighed heavily and closed his eyes. This was just one thing he wished he would be able to forget.

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Hehehehehe...flame if you want. I liked making Fluffy high. He's fffuuuuunnnnyyyy.

Please review!


	4. Stalker

A/N: So, I'm writing this as I'm going along. My idea is going somewhere and I just don't know where yet. Hopefully it turns out well, ne?

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any other characters. They belong to Rumiko. Don't sue me.

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_**Stalker**_

"Jaken, you disappoint me," Sesshoumaru sighed heavily. "I thought you would be at least capable of this much."

"Please forgive me, Lord Sesshoumaru!" Jaken begged, bowing low to the ground.

Sesshoumaru sighed again, wondering why he was putting up with the stupid frog. Although, he had to admit, the toad did keep Rin occupied when he left, and he tried to protect her, so maybe he was halfway useful after all.

"And yet you can't even do this," Sesshoumaru sighed again.

Rin looked at them both strangely, wondering what int he world was going on. She had no idea what either of them were talking about, but she had the sneaking suspicion that Jaken was about to get pummeled. She debated inwardly on whether she should sit back and enjoy the show, or whether she should help the poor imp out of whatever he had gotten himself into.

"Um, Lord Sesshoumaru..." Rin piped up hesitantly. Both demons turned to glance at her.

"What's going on?" she asked shyly.

"You need not concern yourself over it, Rin," Sesshoumaru said quietly, turning his attention back to the toad.

Rin watched in bewilderment as the two demons simply stayed there, still as stone, for almost five full minutes. Then, suddenly, she saw something...twitch. A very strange something, in the bushes, and almost familiar...

"Ears?" she wondered out loud, looking at the bush strangely. "Lord Sesshoumaru, what..."

"Don't worry about it, Rin," Sesshoumaru said abruptly, silencing her questions.

Twitch twitch. Twitch. Twitchtwitchtwitch.

Rin stared uneasily at the bushes, shifting around on Al-Un and trying to ignore it.

Twitch.Twitch. Twitchtwitchtwitchtwitchtwitch.

"Lord Sesshoumaru..." Rin began again, a bit worried that her Lord had lost his senses. Shouldn't he notice this? Why wasn't he doing anything about it? What was wrong with him all of a sudden?

"Rin, there's nothing to worry about," Sesshoumaru said calmly.

Twitchtwitchtwitchtwitch. Twitchtwitch. Twitch. Twitch.

"But Lord Sesshoumaru, what is it?" she pointed over at the ears, concerned about what they belonged to.

Sesshoumaru glanced over boredly, then raised an eyebrow at her.

"There is nothing to worry about, Rin," he repeated steadily. Rin nodded and frowned at herself; what was wrong with her? It was just a silly pair of ears. There was nothing wrong with a pair of ears.

Right. An anonymous pair of ears seemingly growing out of a perfectly normal bush, and it seemed that her Lord hadn't even noticed it, and she wasn't supposed to worry about it. Yes, yes, everything was just fine. Nothing out of place at all.

Sure.

Twitch. Twitchtwitchtwitchtwitch. Twitchtwitch.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!" Rin finally shrieked. Sesshoumaru glanced over at her coolly, and she huffed a few times and kept herself from hyperventilating. It wasn't working very well.

"Rin, you have no reason to concern yourself. There is nothing here that will harm you. I will make sure of that myself."

"But Lord Sesshoumaru, there's a pair of EARS growing out of that bush over there! A pair of twitchy furry ears growing out of a bush is not something normal! I want to know what's going on!" she said frantically, on the verge of hysterics.

"There are no ears growing out of any bushes, Rin," Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her carefully.

"But just look and see! You're standing over there, that tree probably blocks your view! Please, Lord Sesshoumaru? I promise there's ears growing out of that bush, and they're all twitchy and everything!" she said hurriedly, pointing at the foliage. Sesshoumaru sighed lightly and went over, seeing that she had a valid point. His view was partially blocked by a few trees.

Rin pointed at the bush, opening her mouth to say something...

And the ears were gone.

Sesshoumaru looked at her almost boredly, as if expecting as much.

"But they were there just a second ago!" she protested, her arm still suspended in the air from pointing.

"I'm sure they were," Sesshoumaru said neutrally, though Rin could tell that he didn't believe her. She sighed and dropped her arm, then hung her head and gave up on it.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time, Lord Sesshoumaru," she mumbled.

Sesshoumaru said nothing as he glanced over at the line of trees, wondering why he had an inclination to really believe her. He wished he would be able to detect a scent, but after his recent...fight...with Inuyasha, he couldn't sense anything but his younger brother's scent.

Then, after thinking about what had happened a day ago-or was it two days ago?-Sesshoumaru nearly smacked his own forehead. He had been in a rare mood even before that; it wasn't usually his habit to be so sensitive. He knew why he had been-it was the medicines he had taken.

He was allergic to catnip, and even the scent of it would send him into a coughing fit, make him sick, all those other wonderful symptoms. So as soon as he had caught a slight tinge of the scent in the air, he had tried to avoid it, but things never were that easy. It was simply unavoidable; so he had to resort to using the only remedy that ever allowed him to withstand a walk through, or even near, a field of catnip. Unfortunately, the medicine was almost as bad as the allergy-it made him overly emotional, flightly, childish, sensitive, whiny, the list went on. But he had taken it, because he didn't feel like stopping every thirty seconds to fail at trying not to get sick, and so on and so forth.

So he had put up with acting like a complete child, feeling all those emotions that he hated to feel, because he had warned both Jaken and Rin beforehand. They had been surprised but not overly so, and they really hadn't been as bad as he thought they would be. He knew he had aggravated both of them; even Rin had been pushed to her limits with his childishness.

But all of that was fine with him. It wounded his pride a bit to act so uncouth, but he could deal with it. They were his companions, the closest thing he had to friends in this world, and so it didn't bother him as much. But to make such a fool of himself in front of people he didn't know, to play around with his brother like that...it made him shudder. He felt so...guilty. It was strange, but true. He felt guilty becuase he knew that he also felt hurt by it, as if it dashed his pride to pieces, and for some reason it just didn't seem like he should care about it that much. It was a strange combination, but it was there nonetheless.

All of this thinking took about twelve seconds on Sesshoumaru's part, but in that brief time, Rin had seen the ears again. They popped up unexpectedly, and resumed twitching once more.

Twitch. Twitchtwitchtwitch. Twitchtwitch. Twitch.

"DAMMIT YOU STUPID EARS! JUST GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Rin screamed, then began to cry. Sesshoumaru was startled abruptly out of his reverie, nearly jumping at the sudden sound of her voice. The hair on the back of his neck and along his ams bristled, and he shot a look over towards where she had been looking...

And there was nothing. He frowned and looked back at her a bit worriedly, wondering if she was still sane anymore. Had he really been such a horrible role model that she had lost all her wits? He knew that taking in a human had risks, but he thought at least that he could keep her naive and innocent until she was of proper age, protect her and make sure she was fed and everything...

While Sesshoumaru contemplated whether he had been a bad parent and warped her for life, Jaken smirked slightly, knowing that he was completely ignored by both human and demon. Al-Un was asleep, Rin was sobbing, Sesshoumaru was standing there stupidly without a clue as to how to handle the inconsolable child...

Revenge was sweet, the imp decided.

"The ears...they're twitching and twitching...they won't stop..." Rin sobbed even more, burying her face in her hands and crying her poor traumatized little heart out. "I'm not seeing things, they're really there, they're real and they twitch and everything. It's a pair of eas growing out fo a bush, why is that so hard to believe?" she wailed.

"Um, there there, Rin, don't get so upset..." Sesshoumaru tried gruffly, unused to lending any emotional support to, well, anyone.

"But they keep twitching and everything!" she cried, flinging herself onto his chest and clutching at his sleeve. Sesshoumaru blushed, but sat down and hesitantly rested his hand on her small shoulders, trying his best to attempt to comfort her. He wasn't sure how these things really worked, he wasn't used to comforting people in any way, but he had seen other people before and thought he could at least try.

Rin eventually quieted down, crying herself to sleep while still clutching onto Sesshoumaru's sleeve. Sesshoumaru sighed wearily and leaned back slightly against the tree he was under right now, staring up at the moon. Dealing with crying children was more draining than he had imagined. And he hadn't slept in a while, he realized now. A very, very long...while...

Within less than a minute, Sesshoumaru was asleep as well, quietly closing his eyes as he dozed off.

"Did it work?" a dark figure whispered softly, a shadowed form popping up from the bushes.

"Yes, yes, it worked perfectly," Jaken whispered back with a huge grin. Everything had gone exactly as he planned, to a perfect point.

"You know, I would have never said this before, but you're a genius," the figure grinned.

"I didn't used to be ruler of the plains of Musashi for nothing," Jaken beamed proudly. "Thanks for helping, Inuyasha."

"No problem," Inuyasha grinned evilly as he looked at the imp. "Now about my payment..."

"Here you are," Jaken smirked and handed a bag of something to Inuyasha. Inuyasha took the bag, then looked inside, sniffed it, and left, satisfied.

And the best part was, Sesshoumaru had been so caught up with Rin's crying, he had forgotten entirely why he had planned on punishing Jaken-or even that he had intended to at first. Jaken was off the hook, he got his revenge on the girl and demon who had tormented him for so long, Sesshoumaru was showing his paternal fatherly feelings for Rin, Rin was less afraid to ask for comfort, Ah-Un was peacefully unaware, and the imp was seemingly uninvolved...

Perfectly done, with the aid of a certain dog-eared halfdemon.

"I'm so much smarter than anyone else," Jaken sighed happily to himself. "I could be such a villain if I wanted to."

"So, imp, would you consider-" a voice began enticingly.

"Naraku, for the last time, I don't want to work for you."

"No, I was going to ask if you wanted any chips," Naraku shrugged as he stepped into view. "I stole them from Kagome, but I don't like these kind. Here, you can have them. Nobody else wants them."

"Oh, thank you," Jaken nodded as Naraku disappeared again. Jaken went off to the side and quietly dug into the bag of Sour Cream and Onion flavored chips, wondering why Naraku had stolen them in the first place.

"Boy, was that anti-climactic or what?" Kagura sighed as she looked through Kanna's mirror. "Having Naraku come out of nowhere and hand him a bag of chips-why does that somehow just not fit in with the rest of this?"

"It's not supposed to," Kanna said in a monotone. "This is the end of the chapter. It doesn't make sense at all because the author wants it to be weird and stuff."

"Weird and stuff? Kanna, you don't talk like that normally."

"I do now," Kanna shrugged and set her mirror down. "I'm gonna get a cup of milk. You want anything to eat or drink?"

"I think this chapter should end right now," Kagura said with wide eyes.

"If you insist," Kanna shrugged as she waved her hand at the mirror, blacking it out and ending the chapter.

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Whee, that was strange. Ne, I had no idea how I was going to make any coherent sense out of that. I probably didn't. It wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be, at least I don't think so, but maybe someone else will like it. Or be able to make sense of it.

Please review, even if you hated it. Flames are welcome.


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